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Cured

So, here I am, days away from my five-year cancerversary and I’ve just started unpacking my feelings related to my cancer experience. That it was gruelling but not in the traditional sense (according to others). That I didn’t really get kicked in the teeth the way many do but it was horrific all the same.…

The Road to Courageous Living – Official Launch

It’s here! It’s here! Today is an exciting day. My very first non-fiction book, The Road to Courageous Living: Learning Audacious Self-Love and the Skills to Harness Personal Success, has officially launched on Amazon and Kindle!!! I have spent significant time in reflection over the last few weeks as I prepared for this awesome day,…

The Road to Courageous Living

Sitting in that hospital bed, being checked over and over again for signs of bleeding in my brain, I thought about how unhappy I was. I had spent my life believing that achieving success meant following a specific formula. It was something like, work as hard as you can to make lots of money so…

The Relationship Killer: At Least

Once I came to a place in my life where I realized and accepted that the crap things life threw at me was not a me thing, I began feeling self-pity less frequently. Rather than wade through shit cursing under my breath that I was the only one, I waded through the shit cursing under…

Talking Shit and How to Fix it

I did not know much about cancer, or the side effects of treatment before I myself was diagnosed. I expected I would feel sick often, my hair would fall out and I would likely not be able to taste properly or at all. What I did not consider, until the very moment it became my…

Gambling with Human Chips in the Covid Era

Imagine a lone potential criminal debating murder openly – and it’s an acceptable open debate. A random, innocent person who did nothing to inflame someone enough to elicit such a contemplation who has to listen to their potential attacker debate whether they should go through with their heinous, unthinkable act. Whether the attempt was made…

Ambivalence: Friend or Foe?

I felt guilty for doing what was natural to me all too often; sharing. I heard it often enough that it became part of my internal dialogue. I started scolding myself for sharing, questioning everything I said to my friends, and at times even felt shame for sharing. At some point over the years, I…

Post Treatment Jitters: Back to Work

At the point, during my cancer treatment, that we were confident I would not imminently die, I began to feel that my diagnosis had been my personal wake up call. The God that I had spent the better part of my life rejecting, had put a serious smackdown on me as if to say, ‘You…

Overcoming the Whispers of Self-Doubt

On December 8th 2020, I published an article called Three Years Later. It was an unplanned release motived by the realization that the next day would be the three year anniversary of my cancer diagnosis; my cancerversary. It was 9:30pm on Monday December 7th and I was trying to will myself to sleep so I…

(In)Coherent Ramblings and Renewed Focus

Happy New Year! Yes, I realize it’s twenty four days into the new year but do you think good wishes for the new year will ever get old this year? I think not. We have weathered the worse storm my generation, the one after me and before me will every experience. While there were a…

2020: The Embodiment of Contradiction

I continued to ask myself that question, ‘What the hell is going on?’, in the years to follow, but the things that would stir the question became the most trivial of things. I mean, a bad breakup with an unknowingly mentally unstable partner or drug deal gone bad were not scenarios anyone chose to find…

Three Years Later

It was three years ago, right this very moment, I sat on the side of my bed, covered in bruises, blood vessels bursting, hemorrhaging, on the phone with TeleHealth to ask them if they thought I should go to work or not. I intended on going. I had already missed a full week in the…

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