I continued to ask myself that question, ‘What the hell is going on?’, in the years to follow, but the things that would stir the question became the most trivial of things. I mean, a bad breakup with an unknowingly mentally unstable partner or drug deal gone bad were not scenarios anyone chose to find themselves in but knowing the backstory at least made it make some sort of sick sense. But a 10 car pile up on HWY410 because someone didn’t like the guy in front of him only doing 20 kilometers over the speed limit had apparently become an acceptable reason to cut 4 different cars off with the staunch intent of getting in front of said 20km over speeder to give him the finger and cut him off…or maybe just shoot him. In my very humble opinion, what I continued to see happening around me, and maybe even in my very own car when I was the one being cut off and finding myself uncontrollably screaming expletives with my little human in the backseat saying, ‘What does (insert four letter word here) mean Mommy?’ was a strong indication that society was spinning out of control. Something had to give.
The performer on stage started pointing to the right and repeating the same words and on the third repeat, five hundred people rushed away from me, and just then, someone grabbed my arm and flung me into the crowd as they, and then we, bounced across the dance floor and in that very moment, a warmth washed over me and I felt like I was home.
Learn about how Caribbean culture gave me a safe and loving space to discover my own mistakes and how it helped me find the courage to be a better human.
Just when I thought it couldn’t get any worse, my oncologist finished with, ‘the prognosis for survival is 90%…as long as you make it through the next 10 days’. What I had just learned was inconceivable no matter how hard I tried to process it. The only thing I could do to prevent myself from going off the deep end was take things one step at a time. Even if that meant one minute to the next. Based on the, ‘as long as you make it though the next 10 days’ part, it was very clear what my first goal would be; live through the next 10 days.