Post Treatment Jitters: Back to Work

At the point, during my cancer treatment, that we were confident I would not imminently die, I began to feel that my diagnosis had been my personal wake up call. The God that I had spent the better part of my life rejecting, had put a serious smackdown on me as if to say, ‘You can’t live like this anymore. Get your shit together or you are done for’. I did not take this message lightly. In fact, I spent the following two and a half years working hard at living a healthier life. Getting on track looks different for everyone. The reality is, I had managed to succeed in some areas of my life. I had a great job and was well respected in my industry but I had not honored my body or my mental health over the years. Read more to find out how the hard work of the last few years has paid off as I returned to work after cancer treatment.

Overcoming the Whispers of Self-Doubt

On December 8th 2020, I published an article called Three Years Later. It was an unplanned release motived by the realization that the next day would be the three year anniversary of my cancer diagnosis; my cancerversary. It was 9:30pm on Monday December 7th and I was trying to will myself to sleep so IContinue reading “Overcoming the Whispers of Self-Doubt”

2020: The Embodiment of Contradiction

I continued to ask myself that question, ‘What the hell is going on?’, in the years to follow, but the things that would stir the question became the most trivial of things. I mean, a bad breakup with an unknowingly mentally unstable partner or drug deal gone bad were not scenarios anyone chose to find themselves in but knowing the backstory at least made it make some sort of sick sense. But a 10 car pile up on HWY410 because someone didn’t like the guy in front of him only doing 20 kilometers over the speed limit had apparently become an acceptable reason to cut 4 different cars off with the staunch intent of getting in front of said 20km over speeder to give him the finger and cut him off…or maybe just shoot him. In my very humble opinion, what I continued to see happening around me, and maybe even in my very own car when I was the one being cut off and finding myself uncontrollably screaming expletives with my little human in the backseat saying, ‘What does (insert four letter word here) mean Mommy?’ was a strong indication that society was spinning out of control. Something had to give.

Three Years Later

It was three years ago, right this very moment, I sat on the side of my bed, covered in bruises, blood vessels bursting, hemorrhaging, on the phone with TeleHealth to ask them if they thought I should go to work or not. I intended on going. I had already missed a full week in the office for the muscle I had locked in my hip days before. I didn’t want to miss anymore time at work.

It was easy to pass it off as not a big deal. Like I was being a big baby. I should just suck it up because duty calls.

How I Took My Life Back From Anxiety After Cancer

I allowed the emotions to visit me because it’s healthy to remember from where and how far you’ve come. Not only to pat myself on the back for my progress but also as continued motivation.

I only stayed there for a very short while; a few minutes at best. It’s not healthy to stay there any longer. It’s in the past and serves no great purpose. Instead, I began thinking about what it took to break the anxiety. Not only learning the lessons of how to be healthier mentally but also to begin putting those lessons into practice.

One of the things I promised myself was I would never lead my life with fear again.

Talking Self-Advocacy, Life Goals and Parenting with Soar Above Cancer

I recently had the honour of sitting down for a virtual chat with Soar Above Cancer; a podcast dedicated to helping cancer survivors. Join us for this discussion where we explore what it was like being a career-focused busy mom whose world came crashing down in an instant, the gift of clarity and purpose as a result, how http://www.SoYouVeGotCancer.ca came to be, parenting with cancer and more!

What Caribbean Culture Untaught Me About Myself and Racism

The performer on stage started pointing to the right and repeating the same words and on the third repeat, five hundred people rushed away from me, and just then, someone grabbed my arm and flung me into the crowd as they, and then we, bounced across the dance floor and in that very moment, a warmth washed over me and I felt like I was home.

Learn about how Caribbean culture gave me a safe and loving space to discover my own mistakes and how it helped me find the courage to be a better human.

Reconstructing the World Post-Covid19

Today is the first day I’ve been alone in eight weeks. I simply could not have anticipated how a global pandemic, Covid19 (formerly known as the Coronavirus) would impact me. I mean, going from feeling like the strongest opponent in the world after coming so close to the brink of death, to a near full recovery was an almost euphoric feeling that was quite short lived. In fact, I swore I wasn’t going to write about this. Eight weeks later, here I am, writing about it.